Archive for The Winning Edge
Life Turnaround Part 2
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Table of contents for Life Turnaround
- Life turnaround Part 1
- Life Turnaround Part 2
Accept your present situation
In order to move forward, you must first be completely clear about where you are. There is nothing to be gained by fighting against what has already happened or by pretending that it never did happen. You are where you are and that’s a great place to be because it is the place where you can turn your life around. From here, you can go precisely in the direction you choose. To do so, you must put all your energy into positive effort. You can’t afford to waste that energy fighting battles that are already over. Calmly, peacefully, and gratefully accept where you are. Allow yourself to be ok with what has already happened, because there’s nothing you can do to change it anyway. It is what it is, and your mission is now to make your life into what you have chosen it to be. Acceptance of what has happened does not mean that you agree with it or that you resign yourself to live with it. Acceptance means that you see it for what it is and make positive use of it.
An attitude of acceptance puts you in a powerful position because it frees you from having to constantly worry about things that are outside your control. Instead of feeling like you must micro-manage everything that touches your life, remind yourself that you can adapt to whatever may happen. Instead of being paralyzed by the fear of what you cannot control, be confident in knowing that even the most difficult situations harbor positive possibilities.
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Thinking Skills Part 9
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Build your vocabulary
We use words, not only to communicate with others, but also to communicate with ourselves. Words are symbols that act as a shorthand for objects, actions and concepts. In order to communicate more effectively, and to think more effectively, we must have an adequate arsenal of words to use.
Reading is a great way to build your vocabulary. Read material that is interesting to you, and look up words that you don’t understand. When writing, use a thesaurus to learn different ways to express things.
Don’t allow yourself to become lazy with the language you use. Avoid the use of slang expressions. Slang expressions are a poor substitute for actual descriptions. Slang does not communicate precisely. Instead of saying something like “that new film is a piece of crap” say “that new film has a very weak plot, the musical score is so loud you can’t hear the dialogue, and the acting is terrible.” Similarly, avoid the use of cliches. Cliches in your language lead to cliches and oversimplifications in your thinking.
Stop and listen
When conversing with other people, instead of trying to think of what you will say next, really listen to what the other person is saying. Seek to understand his or her point of view. Concentrate on their words, and not on your own internal dialogue. Block out all other distractions, and really focus on what the other person is saying.
This is challenging, to be sure. Your natural instinct is to let your mind wander. You tend to want to focus on any little thing, like a speck in the speaker’s eye, or the small stain on his shirt sleeve.
It takes real effort to concentrate and to listen effectively. And that’s just the point. Focused listening will improve your concentration skills, and sharpen your thinking. As an added benefit, you’ll learn something, too.
Increase your attention span
Effective thinking requires you to hold several things in your mind at once. Many important facts and concepts cannot be grasped in just a minute or two. The pervasive influence of television has given us the expectation of instant understanding. That is unfortunate, because there are many worthwhile things to learn and contemplate, beyond those which can be explored in a 30-second sound byte.
You can dramatically sharpen your thinking skills by increasing your attention span. One way to boost your attention span is to do just one thing at a time. When you jump from one project to another, it makes your attention “muscles” flabby and weak. Focusing your attention on one thing for long periods of time, will give you a powerful, sustained attention span. Like everything else that is worthwhile, it takes effort and practice. After a lifetime of watching TV, you’re not going to sit down for five hours and stay focused on a single project. You can, however, work yourself in that direction.
Eliminating distractions, and the need for distractions, will also help to build your attention span. Stop eating and drinking at your desk — this includes snacks. Practice focusing on your work, and then stop and eat when you’re truly hungry. And don’t be a clock watcher. Take breaks when you need them, not when the clock tells you to. Work to lengthen the time between breaks.
A good attention span is a powerful tool in your arsenal of thinking skills. Practice paying attention and focusing on your work.
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Thinking Skills Part 8
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Put things in perspective
Nothing happens in a vacuum. Everything has a context. It is important to view things in terms of the “big picture.” Putting the experiences, issues and problems of your life into perspective helps you to deal with them more effectively.
There are many perspectives in which we operate. On a grand scale, we’re all a part of history. History is one of those “meta-perspectives”. In terms of history, few things in everyday life are significant. When we look at history, we realize that many things have been happening over and over again for a long time. Lives are lived, wars are fought, civilizations come and go, technology has advanced, and advanced again. Looking at the historical perspective, we get a feeling for what ideas and issues are of lasting importance.
Our place in the physical universe is another perspective, one of almost unimaginable proportions. You are a tiny speck on a tiny planet in a small solar system, which is a tiny part of a galaxy, which is one of millions in the universe. The richest or most powerful person in the world is a tiny speck the same size as you.
Then there is the perspective of your own life. If the car in front of you is a little slow, and causes you to wait through another cycle of the traffic light, what does that really mean? It’s a delay of maybe a minute and a half - one tenth of one percent of your day, a tiny, tiny fraction of your life. Is it really important enough to get all upset about?
There are many other perspectives that can be considered: moral perspective, business perspective, community perspective, family perspective, spiritual perspective, scientific perspective, cultural perspective. Try looking at things from several perspectives. You’ll gain a much more thorough understanding, and sharpen your thinking skills.
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Thinking Skills Part 7
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Practice objectivity
Whether we admit it or not, we all have some kind of bias. It would be difficult to function without it. We tend to categorize and stereotype things, people, experiences, ideas and other aspects of life, as a kind of mental “shorthand”. Bias occurs when we over-generalize. This is useful to some degree — you get burned by a hot stove, so you become wary of stoves in general, hot or cold. Carried to an extreme, however, it can seriously hinder objectivity.
Another obstacle to objectivity is the natural tendency to self interest. Of course you’re going to be more likely to see things from your own point of view. Yet that becomes a problem when you let the perception of what’s in your best interest prevent you from looking at other options that might be even more desirable.
Objectivity means looking at a situation without taking sides or making assumptions. Learning to be objective can help you to make better decisions, to see more possibilities, to benefit from seeing other points of view. In the long run, objectivity is always in your best interest, because it gives you more options and greater understanding.
To be objective, you must first become aware of your assumptions and prejudices, and of the things that are important to you. Then you must step outside of these influences, as if you were another person. Ask yourself how you would feel if you were not you. Play the “devil’s advocate” with yourself. Imagine what it would be like to hold an opposing point of view. How would you justify your opinion?
Objectivity does not mean giving in to someone else’s opinion. Objectivity is simply the ability to see both sides, clearly and without the distorting influence of your own prejudices. It sharpens the mind, and, ironically, helps you to better understand and project your own point of view.
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Thinking Skills Part 6
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Ask yourself, what is possible? What could happen?
Look for possibilities by temporarily suspending judgment. DonÕt limit yourself to thinking about what is most likely to happen. Instead, consider what could happen, no matter how outrageous.
For example, suppose you go out to the garage and find that your car battery is dead and the vehicle won’t start. How can you deal with the situation? Well, the most likely solution would be to ask your neighbor to jump-start your car, then drive to the auto repair shop and get your electrical system checked. But consider the other possibilities: buying a new car, calling a taxi, riding your bicycle, joining a carpool, hiring a limousine and driver, taking the bus, telecommuting, buying a new battery and installing it yourself.
Why should you consider all these other possibilities, when the most “practical” answer is just to jump-start your car? You consider the possibilities, not so much for their own sake, but rather for what they will reveal about your situation. Perhaps this is the sixth major problem with your car in the last three months, and it really would be in your best interest to get a new car. Perhaps you could use some more exercise, and riding your bicycle might be a good idea on days when the weather permits. Perhaps you are so productive that it would pay you to hire a driver so you could get more work done while commuting to and from the office. Considering other possibilities does not preclude you from taking the most sensible course of action.
The point is to open your mind to other ideas. A habit of considering the possibilities will prevent you from getting stuck in a rut. Practice making yourself aware of what is possible.
Stimulate the senses
Researchers have found that sensory stimulation creates electrical activity in the brain, and this accelerates the formation of pathways between brain cells. These pathways, called dendrites, are the basis for intelligence. The more, the better. We are born with a fixed number of brain cells, but there is no limit to the number of connecting pathways that can be created.
This is why many experts recommend exposing unborn children to movement and music while they are still in the womb.
Have you ever noticed that you just seem to think better after a stimulating experience: listening to music, hiking through a beautiful wilderness area, traveling to a new place, feeling the cold wind on your face, tasting a new food, driving through a snowstorm, smelling fresh bread baking.
Our senses deliver complex, dynamic information that challenges us to interpret it. And our minds respond to the challenge with growth. Stimulation builds our sensory vocabulary and adds to our range of experience.
People who have become successful in life very often have homes or offices with magnificent views. Is this just an extravagance, or simply for the purpose of impressing people? Well, yes, in some cases. But remember, people don’t usually get to be successful by being extravagant or showy. Many successful people instinctively realize the importance of a stimulating environment, of being able to look out the window and see a complex, ever-changing panorama. On the surface, the magnificent view might be considered a wasteful extravagance. But in the day to day experience of life, it could indeed be a valuable source of stimulation and inspiration.
Make it a point to stimulate your senses every day, and not always with the same old stuff. Remember to see new sights, taste new food, listen to new sounds, move in different ways — seek out sensations and experiences that are new and challenging.
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Thinking Skills Part 5
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Look for possibilities
In most situations, experience tells us what will probably happen. It is fairly easy to see probabilities. Far more difficult to see are the possibilities.
The most consistently successful people are those who can look past the probabilities and see all the possibilities.
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Thinking Skills Part 4
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Consider this situation:
The shirt factory on the edge of town closes, and 250 people lose their jobs. The shirt company sells the property to an entrepreneur who converts the factory into a warehouse that employs 30 people. The warehouse operator comes to the city planning commission seeking approval to expand her operation by constructing a second facility on the property. The new warehouse will employ an additional 20 people. A group of former employees of the shirt factory oppose the new facility, claiming that the warehouse company has “eliminated” a net total of 220 jobs from the community.
But is there any relevance to the fact that 250 people once worked at the shirt factory? No. The shirt factory is gone for good, never to return. The warehouse company did not “eliminate” 220 jobs — it actually took a vacant property and created 30 jobs, with another 20 jobs planned. The fact that the warehouse is located on the site of the old shirt factory is meaningless.
The loss of 250 jobs is an emotional issue. It has had an effect on the lives of many people. But punishing the warehouse company, and limiting its growth, will not bring those jobs back. To find the best course of action, we must discard the irrelevant facts, no matter how emotional they are, and look at the things that will make a difference.
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Thinking Skills Part 3
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Ask why
There are many things you take for granted on a day to day basis. You flip a switch, and the light comes on. You turn on the faucet, and water comes out. You turn on the television, and there are 300 channels of programming awaiting your selection. These things don’t just happen, though. If there’s ever been a water main break in your area, or if the power or cable has ever gone out, you have probably realized how much you take these systems for granted.
Instead of just accepting things, make an effort to understand them. Ask why, and how, and why not. When you push the “print” button on your computer, the page comes out of your printer. How does this happen? Look inside the printer and see if you can figure it out. A new restaurant opens in your town, and it is an immediate success. Another restaurant opens down the street, and fails after six months. Why? What made one succeed and the other fail?
Don’t chalk everything up to “good luck” or “bad luck”. Things happen for a reason. Don’t just read the headlines or watch the news on television. Study events in depth to develop an understanding of the underlying causes.
Distinguish the relevant from the irrelevant
In every situation there are relevant facts, and there are meaningless ones. All too often, people fight the wrong fight, over issues that are not even relevant. One of the most effective thinking skills you can develop is the ability to recognize what is relevant and what isn’t.
Generally, something is relevant if it has some material effect on the situation at hand, and if it can be controlled or altered in some way.
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Thinking Skills Part 2
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Are you thinking, or reacting?
There are many things you do by habit or conditioned response. When the telephone rings, you answer it. When a box falls off the truck on the road in front of you, you swerve to miss it. If you had to stop and think about what to do, your reaction would come too late. You would collide with the box on the freeway. So habits and automatic responses are very important. It would be tough to get through the day without them. There is a danger, however, in becoming too dependent on them.
Unfortunately, much of what passes for thinking is actually reaction, assumption, or emotion.
I remember when we first had caller ID service installed on our home telephone line. It changed my telephone answering habits. Before, when the phone rang, I would simply answer it. Once we had caller ID service, though, instead of habitually answering the phone, I learned to look at the caller ID display to find out who was calling. It prompted me to think — to make a decision. Based on my knowledge of who is calling, should I answer it, or advise another family member to answer it, or just let the answering machine take a message?
The arrival of caller ID forced me to stop and consider, “What am I doing?” And because of that, my quality of life improved in a small way. I no longer had to listen to sales pitches from telemarketers, or answer other calls that I didn’t want to answer.
So just as there is value in developing good habits and conditioned responses for some situations, it is also important to develop good thinking and decision-making skills.
Imagine that you can step outside of yourself for a little while. Become an observer of your own actions. Look at each thing you do, and consider why you do it. Is it a conditioned habit, something that you do just because you did it last time and the time before? Is it an automatic response — does your blood pressure rise every time a certain person calls you? Do you say exactly the same thing every time someone asks what kind of work you do? Do you always run to the mall when a sale flyer comes from your favorite department store?
Or are your actions based on thought? Do you look at each situation, carefully weighing the benefits and potential outcomes of each approach? Stop and think before you react.
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Thinking Skills Part 1
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Our success in life is due in large part to our ability to think. We are able to use our large, powerful brains for more than just playing back previously recorded programs. We are able to ponder, to synthesize, to question, to analyze, to consider, to speculate, to investigate, to think.
In a world that is increasingly powered by information, thinking skills become more and more important. The world is getting more complex by the minute. Instinctive reactions no longer give us enough skills to survive. We must learn to develop complex thinking skills in order to prosper.
Normally, we don’t ever think about thinking. We just kind of do it as needed. Of course we all go to school as children, where we are hopefully taught how to think, and where we receive some practice in thinking. Yet aside from philosophy courses, we don’t receive very much instruction in thinking, per se. Most of our thinking skills are developed out of the necessity to accomplish some other task, whether it be academic or pragmatic.
Thinking is a lifelong pursuit, and it is important to continually develop and refine thinking skills. Thinking affects every area of life. It can make the difference between success and failure in your career. It can make the difference between good health and sickness. It can make a major difference in your relationships, and in your very enjoyment of life.
So let’s take a look at some aspects of thinking, and at some ways to improve thinking skills. This is by no means an exhaustive listing. Instead, it is intended to help you stop and consider your own thinking skills, and what you can do to strengthen them.
The best way to improve thinking skills is practice
I know that sounds kind of obvious. The point is that there’s no “easy” answer — no magic formula that will raise your IQ by 20 points with little or no effort. Thinking is difficult work, and improving one’s thinking skills takes time and effort.
Just as physical exercise helps to strengthen the body, regular mental exercise will strengthen the mind. And just as you can’t have “six-pack” abdominal muscles without months and months of “crunches”, developing your thinking skills will also take continued, sustained effort. Each time you go to the gym and work out, you build your physical strength. Over time, you’re able, physically, to do things you could not have done before. And each time you put some real, sustained effort into using your thinking skills, you strengthen them. Eventually, you will be able to do things, mentally, that you could not have done before. You’ll find that you can more quickly grasp complex situations. You will be more creative. You will learn more quickly and completely. A strong mind is developed by habit, by putting some work into purposeful thinking on a daily basis.
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