Facing Fear Part 4

What about the fear of failure? Is your fear of failure holding you back? If so, stop for a moment and think about the implications of that. If the fear of failure is preventing you from taking action, then that fear is leading you directly to the thing you fear — failure. Of course with any project, or business, or career, or job, or undertaking, there is a risk. There is a risk of failure. And yet, when you let that fear of failure hold you back, then there is the certainty of failure. So which is worse — the possibility of failure or the absolute certainty of failure? Fear of failure, if you let it stop you, leads directly to certain failure. So if you truly wish to avoid failure you cannot allow your fears to hold you back.

And then there is the fear of success. It may sound strange and yet the fear of success is much more common than we would like to think. Why would anyone fear success? One reason is that you might fear what would happen if you were successful and were not able to find any fulfillment in that success. What if it’s not what you really want? Or, you might fear that other people would resent you for your success. Or, you might simply feel unworthy of that success and fear that somehow, in some way the universe would have to balance itself out and actually punish you for that success. If you fear success, if any of these sound familiar, what are you to do?

Just like any other fear, your fear of success is attempting to tell you something. Perhaps the success you’re working to achieve is not the success you truly desire. Are you borrowing someone else’s goals? Are you borrowing someone else’s definition of success? Examine your own desires. Look for your own purpose in life. It’s there, waiting to be expressed. Follow those goals about which you can truly be enthusiastic. Define success on your own terms, find a success to pursue that is meaningful to you, so that you can confidently work toward success rather than fear it.

Remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle? You probably used training wheels. Training wheels made it safer and more comfortable for you to learn. They kept you from falling. They helped you to gain a little confidence. Then after a while it was time to take off the training wheels.

All of a sudden you were exposed to risk. All of a sudden, bicycle riding had some possibly unpleasant consequences and responsibilities. You had to keep your own balance. There was nothing to fall back on. And yet with a little bit of determination, you learned how to do it.

And then what you felt was…
Freedom! Now you could ride up the driveway, down the sidewalk, through the fields, along the street. You could lean into turns and feel the wind in your face. You could speed down hills and fly off the curb. It was wonderful and exhilarating. Once you learned to ride without the training wheels, you never needed or wanted them again.
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